You're always a little disappointing in person because you can't be the edited essence of yourself.

We want to get people laughing; we don't want to offend anybody.

Humor is just another defense against the universe.

Look, I don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive you've got to flap your arms and legs, you've got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or you're not alive.